Hole In The Wall

I just spent two hours writing this post and it disappeared.  Into thin air.  This has truly been a time of patience and persistence for me.  I feel like I need to confess and wash away the heaviness that has descended on me and this project.  The reality is:

1. I sometimes have evil thoughts about running away from the movie.  

2. I sometimes get short with people I love.  because I’m frustrated.

3. I’ve started using the “F” word a lot.  Like, a lot.

As most of you know, I threw in the theoretical towel on editing my own piece about a month ago.  My mentors and friends were amazing and shopped it around to some local editors to see if anyone would have the time/interest in stepping in and helping me out…no biters.  Mike Tabor (Fresh Filmmaker Producer/Mentor) and IFP then set up a small focus group for me to get some feedback on my rough cut.  I attended but with the understanding that what I really needed, even more than notes, WAS HELP.  SOMEONE TO PLEASE HELP ME.  I walked away with the notion that my film was in conflict - it felt both abstract and linear - and it would be in my best interest to choose one over the other.  I also walked away with an editor recommendation - Kevin Russell (Splice Here, assistant editor).

I approached Kevin, a serene, kind and patient guy, and said to him, “Thank you for being here for me, please take my footage and do what you will.  Let’s make something abstract”.  He did - over and over again…each time following my exact notes and direction, but the honest truth is…it just wasn’t feeling like me; like my voice.  It moved faster, it looked cooler, the cuts were cleaner - a lot of really great things were happening, but for me…I was, I’m just going to say it, FEELING, like something had been lost.  I contacted Kevin and said, “you know - why does it have to be just abstract or linear?  I wrote this story and intended for it to be both - that’s what I wanted and what I intended, and I think we can get it there”.  

It’s a delicate dance, this director/editor relationship (FYI: Not unlike 7 minute dating, you have to just get right into it, and don’t stop until you find the right fit.)  I can honestly say I have no regrets and have utilized this Fresh Filmmaker grant/community project to it’s fullest!  I have learned that you have to make yourself uncomfortable - you have to learn to communicate and to listen.  It’s not easy, but I know in my heart the payoff will be big.  I want to thank everyone, again, for sticking with me.  This community is truly awesome, and I feel like I’ve finally found my part in it all.  Stay tuned for a final screening update….